Mostly harmless (corto) wrote,
Mostly harmless

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BB3 Update!!

BB3 Update: Captain Factoid and the Temple of Doom

Lisa, who needed to be reminded that actually getting a clue would be useful, vanishes as Chiara, Head-Girl with a remarkable knack for ignoring history, holds the spotlight. Josh, the wanna-be anything, finally shaves and receives a sound drubbing for his effort. The gloves are off and human nature takes over; stupid people using every body part possible the think except their brains.

In Brief
Lisa cries, Josh is an idiot, everyone lies, Gerry gets thin, Chiara swears, they get some food (finally), they find out about the "big twist" and things turn to sexual innuendo. Oh and the clueless girl (Chiara) nominates her main squeeze Roddy and puts him up against Josh.

Some details?
Starting with Lisa and her tears we switch to a great evil-empire moment of Danielle saying "four down, six to go!" Then, the show that sells itself with the tag-line "cut off from all outside contact" goes on to give the new head girl a basket of pictures and letters from home? wtf?
A quick shot of numbskull Josh in the idiot room saying; "Chiara as HoH? There's no way she will put my jew-ass up!" (well now... I guess Chiara eats kosher after all ...).
The gloves come off and everyone is lying and manipulating to beat the band... you know, acting normal. Lisa finally gets a clue and starts counting votes with the lights coming on as she realizes Chiara voted for her and retorts "I am the princess of darkness in this house." Then goes on to vanish for the rest of the show.
We get some time with Gerry getting thinner, Chiara having a potty mouth and everyone hating PB&J. Hence? a food competition... A jenga thing that nets them some good stuff and nobody on PB&J... I'm sure three weeks of that would have had lawsuits showing up.
They see some video of the four that are competing to "come back into the house" and get all excited... (give 'em a day or so, and they'll be all about frying whoever comes back asap!). BB had to intro a new person due to a walk-out in the UK version once and that person was toasted instantly.

Fav Quote
Roddy gets his first whiff of real fear as he realizes his girl has no brain. She mentions, in front of Gerry, that she's thinking of putting Roddy up against Josh... to get rid of Josh. Roddy comes back with (the moment Gerry leaves) "When did you come up with this plan."
Translation: "Jane, you ignorant slut." or something like that...

Most Memorable Moment
Jason, the Virgin Boy, comments "There may be some sexual tension in the house..." there by uttering the grossest understatement of the century. We get a scene of Chiara showing off sex posture (with her lets up - pants on mind you - in a "cum fuck me" pose and see Roddy removing his towel in front of Marcellas, and the girls creaming themselves over the work-out boys. Yea, a little sexual tension...

Best bit from the Live Feed Transcripts
It's all about the pictures baybee... Here's a few priceless moments...
Marcellas wishing...
Gerrry looking like Darth Vader unmasked...
Eric caught with his fantasies escaping...

Ok, look... up until this show I had been ascribing a certain amount of perceived intelligence to Chiara... but that is not totally fucking gone. What a complete and total head slapping Homer. The fact that they are playing a game for a half a million smackers cannot be so completely lost this girl, can it? She puts Roddy... her best friend in the house... the boy she seems to want to slurp the second she gets out from under the gaze of 13 million people... because she thinks the other people in the house will want to get rid of the bad person (Josh) that she puts up beside Roddy? HELLO?? He is like the strongest alpha on the show... of course the other nitwits are gonna toss him off to get him out of the game... Danielle must be about to pee herself over this.

Roddy is just freaking shocked... as he realizes that a) every decoy - almost - gets thrown out of the house and b) some of the other players are not daft and they will fry his honkey ass because he's too strong a player. He is toast... well it looks that way at least. He spends a bit of time all sucky because everybody is giving him a hard time about being the man with all the factoids ... i.e. A whip crack is a mini sonic boom...

Jason needs about sixteen orgasms in a row... just because...

Josh is a little disabled... hahahahahhaa... Chiara makes her nomination speech (putting Roddy and Josh up) and comments that Roddy is a vote for Josh and she wants Josh to get NO votes... Then she goes on to call him out as a lying bastard, hard core, to his face, in front of the table and 13 million viewers. He then packs his bags immediately... hahahaha... Will he leave on his own? doubtful, but funny none the less. He does spend some time lamenting the notion that none of the girls want him... d'uh!

Bring on Amy!!!! :D

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